Post natal depression

Post Natal Depression

The Birth of a Newborn Baby

This can be the most wonderful experience life has to offer. Two people who love each other deeply have given life to a new living human being who will be the center of attention in their lives going forward.

They have spent the previous 9 months preparing for this new members’ arrival into their family. They have shared the entire journey from the first confirmation of the pregnancy to the day this little one decides it is time to leave the security of his mothers womb and meet his parents for the first time. Prior to the birth date mother may have sung songs to or chatted to this little one growing inside her. Dad would have held his hand over the mothers baby bump to feel the movements. They would have made a list of names, decorated a room especially for the new arrival and spent a large amount of money buying all the necessary equipment such as pusher, cot, car seat, bath and clothing.

The Excitement builds as B Day approaches so too does a little anxiety. Questions will race through the parents minds, like “will our baby be OK.?

“Will I be OK? ” ” Will we have a home birth?”

“Should hubby be involved in the birth.?”

There will be many uncertainties until all is revealed on that special day.

New mum and baby do well for the first little while, they spend every waking moment together building a bond between them.

Then Something Changes:

The joy starts to fade as mother and or father gets less sleep or often very interrupted sleep. The baby might cry for no obvious reason. Going out socially becomes more difficult as the demands of the young child increase needing more time and attention.

Having a baby is a major life changing event and it can trigger different responses in different people. Some will just roll into it with ease and others will have a lot of challenges and feel anxious about the whole process of raising a child.

The responsibility of this new life weighs heavily on them. They have their own needs which are sacrificed to fulfill first the needs of the baby. They want to be good parents but there are lots of what ifs? What if my baby isn’t sleeping? What if they are showing signs of illness. What if I don’t have enough milk to feed my baby properly? and the list goes on.

This new little one might cause a mother to feel inadequate once dad has returned to work and she is left home alone to care for junior. She may have lost contact with some of the friends she had before because they are not yet mothers and interests have changed.

Dark clouds of doubt and insecurity might envelop this young mother. She cannot fully explain why she feels the way she does but she is downcast and sad most of the time when most would expect her to be happy and revelling in the life of a young child. The mother less able to function properly and may begin to show a real lack of interest in her own appearance and well-being.
The following video was produced by PANDA

PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia supports women, men and families across Australia affected by anxiety and depression during pregnancy and in the first year of parenthood. PANDA operates Australia’s only National Helpline for individuals and their families to recover from perinatal anxiety and depression, a serious illness that affects up to one in five expecting or new mums and one in ten expecting or new dads.

 

There is no real explanation for why this might happen but contributing factors could be::

  • A young mother has recently been through a monumental change in her own body. There are physical and hormonal changes taking place. She has had to function on less sleep and increased physical demands on her. She may have a decreased interest in sex with her partner .
  • Emotionally she has had to make major changes to share her time and love with someone else., She may be missing her independence and her need to be able to do the things she enjoyed before.
  • She will be craving the social interaction with her friends or work colleagues and also finding that she misses the income she previously earned.

Post Natal Depression Creeps In:

The signs of post-natal depression are much the same as any other form of depression such as

  • Low self-esteem and lack of confidence
  • Feeling inadequate and guilty and can’t explain why
  • Having Negative thoughts about life or anything else
  • Life seems meaningless and without purpose
  • Struggles to cope with everyday demands being expected of her
  • Can be tearful or irritable for no real reason
  • Struggles to get adequate sleep or rest
  • Experiences a reduced or non existent sex drive
  • May suffer anxiety or panic attacks
  • May lose interest in eating or personal grooming

This can be a very difficult time for the young fledgling family. It is not unknown for fathers to become depressed too so it is important that they too are considered in the effects of the quantum shift they have each been through.

Around one in 7 to 10 mothers will develop post-natal depression within the first year following the birth of a baby.

Many women experience what is known as baby blues after about three days. I remember this well as on the third day after giving birth I would just want to cry and the only person I wanted to see was my husband on that day. I could not explain why but the tears would just flow for no apparent reason. Fortunately for me that was the end of it and I was able to move on and enjoy being a mum.

However I had a friend who was so depressed following the birth of her third baby that she even forgot she had him or any of her other children. Her mother had to step in and raise all three children for the first 12 months and then when it came time to reunite them with their mother she found it very difficult to give them back as she had developed such a strong bond with them.

Post Natal Depression is real, it is like any depression, very debilitating and can have dire consequences for the marriage if not taken care of and suitable help is sought. .

You Can Help

In Australia we have a movement called R.U.O.K ?

We need to be aware of each other, our partners, family members’ and friends. If we can do this we might well avert someone being gripped by depression.

This little video is a good starter for signs to look out for, It was produced by the R.U.O.K

It is often difficult for a young mum to admit that she is not traveling all that well. They are struggling with the new roles of motherhood, come nurse maid, come cleaner, partner etc that they can overlook their own needs and feel guilty if they are not able to meet the perceived expectations’ society has placed on them. As a caring friend you might notice some subtle changes and you could just stop by and ask R.U.O.K?

 

If you or someone you know is suffering depression of any kind ask them  R.U.O.K and refer them to some help .

See also on this website

https://fromvalleytomountain.com/most-of-us-know-…epressed-at-some/ ‎

https://fromvalleytomountain.com/depressed-some-h…ful-online-sites/

Online forums:

https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/forums/antenatal-and-postnatal-depression-forum.368/

                             

 

                                    

 

                                                    Postpartum Support International – PSI

 

 

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Comments

    • Salim
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    Hello,

    its so amazing and astonishing to read and feel that there’s a always a post natal depression of course why should there be depression at al? But going through the blog post I have a full understanding of what the post natal depression is. I feel it comes natural and all the tips you have given will be a good head start to start realising what the depression feels and how best to work it out.

    thanks

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you Salim for your thoughts on this difficult topic.  You ask a good question, “why should there be depression at all?’

      I think the answer to that lies somewhere between us and our maker. W are born with human frailties and some will be strong physically but not emotionally or psychologically.  That’s just how it is, we are all different and respond to different situations accordingly. 

    • abdft17
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    yes, I absolutely agree with this topic, I still remember when my wife was pregnant I was really happy and really eager to see my first child ever how he/she looks like mother or father, then only a few days later I feel like I have no time at all even sometimes I forget to eat my lunch or breakfast. Motherhood and Fatherhood are not that easy as I thought.

    Really thanks to this nice article

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Becoming a parent s life changing and usually in a wonderful way. It is occasionally that some are overwhelmed by the experience and fall victim to depression. Sometimes it will be the father but most times the mother but with care and understanding it can be worked through with professional help.

      Thank you for your comment and for sharing your personal experience. 

    • Ola
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    So so many useful tips and tricks all on one page! Wonderful! I bookmarked to look further. This is the first time i am reading a lovely article and i wish i came to this world as a woman.

    This is a must read and an eye opener for all intending mothers. There is no better joy than that of motherhood

    Depression is evil and reall; thats why its good to be aware of each other status and condition

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you Ola for your comments. Parenthood is indeed a wonderful experience for both partners in a relationship and the birth of a child is a miracle to be embraced and enjoyed by the whole family.

      You are right in your final note in saying we need to be aware of each other and look out for each other. 

    • Autofreak
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    This reality makes me get scared of becoming a father, I have always imagine the new challenges that comes with being a parent. The psychological effects that it has on new mum is worth of mainstream attention. We don’t have PANDA here because our government does not consider this depression as threat to citizens, but in reality, it is big issue.Do people actually die from post natal depression? I want to know, this is the main why it can be of great concern.This article is going to help me in my Valentine speech. Thank you!

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Any type of severe depression can lead to suicide in some people if it is not treated effectively in good time.  Not everyone who has a baby will get depressed, but on average it is somewhere between 1-3 in 10. Having a baby is the most wonderful experience and you should not let fear of the unknown spoil that for you and your partner. 

      Thank you for sharing you thoughtful response. 

    • Seun Afotanju
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    I had a similar situation with this post, when depression kicked in all I did was to make use of Antidepressants which works by balancing mood-altering chemicals in your brain. And help ease symptoms such as low mood, irritability, lack of concentration and sleeplessness, and allowed me to function normally and helping myself and my wife cope better with our new baby.

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Often men are overlooked i the impact of a new baby and the new role of dad and they too can have difficulty coping with such a radical change to their lives.  There is loads of help available and so if it happens again reach out.

    • Dapoach
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    This is such a wonderful post! its so creative . I must say that having a new baby as an addition to a couple comes with a whole lot of responsibilities. To maintain a love relationship alone within two lovers alone is huge task not to talk of when a baby arrives. Its always fun the first few weeks after the arrival due to the joy that first comes seeing such a brand new person just coming on earth to become a fully fledged member of the family.  Then after on a whole lot of time and attention is needed to always stay with the child and take care of him/her during all the phases of learning to walk, learning to talk etc. This is a very lovely write-up. Kudos to you. I hope to read more of your write ups subsequently. Thanks

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you so much for your positive comments. Having a baby is the most joyful and wonderful experience we get to share in our entire lives. We celebrate all the significant milestones and enjoy all their achievements as if they were ours as they grow. Yet for a small percentage of people it can be a time of great challenge and an emotional roller coaster. 

    • julienne murekatete
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing with us this helpful information about post natal depression.Every parent is happy to raise their kids and it is very painful when the kids are sick or have some health problems.

    After reading this article I found it very useful because it helps parents know how to take care of their kids because they already know where the problems come from and how to help them.

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you for your comment about post natal depression. You are right in saying every parent is happy to raise their children but if depression sets in then they can be robbed of that happiness and struggle to care for themselves let alone a new baby. 

    • Favour
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    I am happy people are now making post natal depression a topic of discussion, this will help in getting a solution for those who are passing through such. My dear I am really familiar with this topic because I have been there, after my first baby I went into depression because I noticed my breast milk wasn’t flowing well for the first 4 days and this made me feel like I have failed my baby because I have always wanted to do exclusive breast feeding. My mother-in-law was not making things easy for me due to the way she kept saying I should quit planning on EBF. I only over came the depression after some months as a result of my mum encouraging me and telling me never to give up, she promised to help me achieve it by walking me through the necessary thing I need to do to keep the milk flowing. Thank you for this wonderful write-up.

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Favour thank you for sharing your own very personal story. It is a very You were very fortunate to have a Mum who was supportive and helped you work through the issues you were having . God Bless your Mum. 

    • Pasc Paul
    • February 13, 2019
    Reply

    Hi, indeed, depression is the struggle we all do in this life, we must fight to be happy, and to strengthen our dreams, I really enjoyed your article, an encouragement that we all need of her.I will recommend your website with great warmth to those who suffer from depression.I wish you a nice day Paul.

      • admin
      • February 13, 2019
      Reply

      Thank you for checking it out Paul and for leaving a comment.  We do all have some down days but we do not all struggle with severe depression.  It can be triggered by a plethora of different life experiences and PND is just one of them which a few people will experience. 

      I believe part of the problem is that we have all looked after our physical and intellectual beings but neglected the spiritual. 

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