“This is the only reason I am still here!”
“Tiger is the only one who has time and love for me.”
I am done with the wickedness of this world!”
This photo was sent to me from someone who is very depressed.
What was causing the depression was not something anyone had done or said. It was not that there were not people who loved him. The world is not all wicked as he at this moment in time thinks, but there is a very painful emotion affecting him at this time which is over-riding all reason and rational thinking.
He is suffering as a consequence of separation from his children.
This is an issue which affects many people in our world at the moment.
Just 2 days ago a man who was suffering in the same way, decided on his access weekend to kill his child and himself. This is so tragic and could be avoided if families could work through their differences more amicably.
It is not an uncommon story and sadly it is usually the male partner who falls victim to the deep emotional pain of separation from his children.
With increasing rates of divorce or family breakups in the western world there is an increased risk of psychological distress to a parent and or the children involved in the relationship.
Did you see this post on Twitter recently?
Quote from The Australian Mens’ Health Forum
“According the World Health Organization, involved dads “live longer, have less physical and mental health problems, are less likely to consume alcohol and drugs, are more productive at work, have fewer accidents, are more likely to be satisfied with their lives and are more emotionally connected to their partners and children”.
As fatherhood promotes good health in men, the barriers to being a dad are also barriers to good health. One of the key barriers that prevents men from being involved fathers is family separation.”
Suicide Is A Major Risk Factor
There are around one million children living in separated families in Australia. At least 80% of these children live mostly with their mums and 50% spend little or no time with their dads. We also know that half of separated dads experience thoughts of suicidality post separation and more than 10 male suicides a week are linked to relationship separation”
Specifically, almost 4% of depressed men and 0.5% of depressed women committed a violent crime after their depression diagnosis, compared with slightly more than 1% of men and 0.2% of women in the general population, the researchers reported in the journal Lancet Psychiatry.
While the statistics indicate more women suffer depression the consequences of depression in men tel a different story.
Men can be up to 5 times more likely to self harm or harm someone else as a result of depression. This fact makes me question the validity of the statistics regarding the number of men suffering depression versus the number of women.
Some points to note from personal experience.
- Women have a safety valve: They will talk to their friends about how they are feeling.
- Women are more likely to seek professional help when they are feeling low.
- Women are more socially engaged and they usually maintain the connection with their children.
- Men like to portray the impression that they are OK and that they are not weak human beings.
- Men will try to tough it out and suffer in silence
- Men are less likely to seek professional help when it is needed.
The screenshot below demonstrates the differences between men and women s health issues. Note the tendency to self harm in this study.
The Me Too Movement.
Another concern I have is the Me Too Movement and its effect on men in our society.
It is good to call out wrongful behaviors, whether it be as sexual misconduct or otherwise. But are we taking it too far?
I feel for the men who have not and would not offend a woman because of their respect for them. They must be confused as to how they should conduct themselves towards a woman. They may have lost confidence to connect socially with women out of fear of being misunderstood and being accused of having different motives.
It is normal for a little flirting to take place between the sexes.
Girls you can’t have it both ways. If you are going to have your boobs hanging out of the top of your shirt or your panty line showing under your skirt, I think that should be considered sexual harassment toward men. How can you expect them not to be affected? It is like an open invitation” Here I am, look at what I have to offer, come and indulge yourself” I know this might seem like an old-fashioned idea but if you do not want them to taste the fruit then do not put it under their noses.
I am deeply offended by some of the posts women put on Google Plus. There was one the other day of a woman sucking on a penis. How does that command respect from anyone?
There is nothing wrong with a little modesty and in fact I think it shows a lack of respect toward men to flaunt your bodies in front of them. It is an assault on their senses and you cannot expect them not to react. They are made with sexual desire just as women are but the men are rarely seen flaunting their goods in front of a woman.
This confusion in men may have a negative impact on their emotional well-being and lead to depressive illness because of an inability to feel they can safely connect with a woman. Men like women need a healthy intimate relationship to maintain optimum emotional well being.
Girls We Need to Wake up!
I am no expert but I have been married for almost 50 years. We have had some tough times as everybody does but we have worked through them and remained strong in our love for each other.
Show respect to the men in your life. You reap what you sow.
Honor your commitment in marriage.
Raise your boys to love and respect women.
Raise your girls to be modest and respectful of men.
Allow and encourage your children to be open about how they are feeling. It’s OK for boys to cry, no its good for boys to cry.
Give love and respect and you will receive love and respect in return.
Put the needs of others in your family before your own. If everyone in the family does that it will be guaranteed harmony.
Lets get the balance right. Our men deserve a fair go too!
It has to be more than Me Too but Them Too
If you need help with your depression or if you would like to help someone else struggling with depression then click on the link below.
Depression is a deep dark valley but with the right help we can climb out of it and enjoy the view from the top of the mountain.